The first morning of the rest of my life brought for an outbreath tenfolds better than any orgasm can procure. The mist outside the window was a steady, shallow breeze awoken only by my own faults of not knowing how to turn the heater on and not being able to provide my chamber with a much-deserved bedding. My objective for today is to finalise my cleaning and arrangements and to hopefully bring an end to all my bedside needs. The two women I am with are both so pleasing, accommodating and elegantly beautiful that it is slightly difficult to concentrate without having to be distracted by their constant moving to and fro. This is turning out to be one of the very best things happening in my life as of this moment and might as well cherish the fact that this would not have been made possible if not for the suppressed guilt and blatant shamelessness I exhibited a little over a few weeks back. I treasure the faults as much as I value my gifts, this is what I have learned to achieve in this tiny bit of offering and now I will make up for it with the same amount of joy and anger in return.
Dark, darker, darkest, there is no difference. All hurts the same. Pain, everlasting, lingering. Pain, day and night. The hours are uncertain. Anything can happen now. Thinking about it hurts. Truth is unreliable. The romance is dead. My heart, it is lost. Unrecoverable, hateful, distrusting. Wishful, perhaps, but I have lost everything before and survived still. This one was special. So special. Embittered, the tip of my tongue tastes. The flavour of my life. Cuisine of kitchens unwanted. It burns, to the heart. I do not understand. I do not understand.