Lazy from C-Z

Like a song I could not figure out   Sometimes the worst thing is not knowing   How best to approach your moments   And feel the inside out of what is out and about   So we may yet explore what I hope to discover   And maybe perhaps recover   The intimate melody of your sweetest smile     Nothing is quite the same now   I just say your name now     But I always thought it was always your strength   To keep at bay your emotive core   And it was never your fault on how we came to be   I fell limply in love with all my force even before   Which I hoped to explore and yet recover   And maybe perhaps discover   What it is exactly this journey was for     Even though the pendulum always has   The tendency to swing wherever it wants to lean   I don’t look at it as a flaw we need to extinguish   The pendulum swings perpetually   And here you still are   Messing the wrongs you used to hear me swing   And here I still am   Missing the songs I used to hear you sing   And maybe perhaps someday

I have made it a point to endure the reality recoil once this short sabbatical is all said and done. The reality is that not much has changed, except for the sudden dwindling of my funds. I spent more of my finances in the last few days rather than the totality of my camino . Slightly effete for a man whose claim to life is my spirituality; that smug and self-righteous opinion that the world is mine and it owes me a living. Rather than claim it, it seems to me that I have instead lost any sense of it. It is not an invalidation of the whole duration of this experience, it is more rather my epiphany. When I arrived in Finisterre with a duo of misfits, I sought not to throw any valuable that I held dear simply because I did not want any of my possession to be a ritual for my own salvation, instead I sought it to live for the sake of my own oblivion. I will stand tall. But the long stretch of not communicating with Ainhoa stirs my thoughts day in and day out, waning my mannerisms. It is a