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Showing posts from 2018

Where we are when we think we are there as opposed to where we actually are and why we want that to be

Both me and Miriam have now leveled up our lives a bit better and, let's just say, more economically stable than ever. I can not help but wonder though at what cost all of this is to our lives and will it all be worth it? The only reasonable explanation as to why I drove Miriam into this insanity was my own selfish desire for a better life for both of us, although there are times when I truly doubt my very own self-worth.
I despise how this all came about, though to be sure, I am very thankful for the opportunity. It had been a rough patch for us both due to my incapability to provide my share of responsibilities in this relationship. Miriam is hard carrying us both for almost since she came here, and if it were someone else, I would have surely found myself kissing dust once more at a bushy hedge at Hyde Park, away from the prying eyes of the judgemental and temperamental hoi polloi and the likes. To think that most of the issues that plague me at most workplaces I have been ter…

Bucket on my head

Some things in my life are doing really good right now; so good, it's suspect. I smell a tragedy brewing in the background; waiting, brewing, gesticulating. I am scared but I am ready. My holidays starting tomorrow will be quite something then, if nothing else. Actually, someone else's holidays of which I merely am riding with their coattails on. But the real story is how the development of absolutely nothing has become the motif of me all of a sudden. This is my third pilgrimage now. Once, when all was lost. Second, when thought of love was found. And, finally, when hope reigned me in after thinking all was lost.
Of course, I am still that same old. It has been years long now since the first. I had to convince myself how terribly repetitive I really am. The joys of being mediocre at best.