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Showing posts from 2017

Perhaps forever lonely

Every morning I get a weird sensation of pain resonating out of my eyes, especially when my body feels it lacks sleep even though it doesn't. Eight hours is more than enough time for rest. This would be another day where Miriam is somewhat feeling more distant with me. As if the reason to move on from her would be the most backwards beneficial thing I could ever ask for myself even though part of me tells me I shouldn't. With or without her, of course, I will survive. But I like her. Truly, I do. The decision as usual lies upon her to decide for our fate. I will once again be in shambles, tattered even worse than ever before. The thought of going back to the streets was all too familiar. I would want to avoid such fate whenever necessary. 
When life finally chooses that path for me in the future, I will be mentally prepared. But the state of my perpetual loathing will one day have to rid itself on its own. My isolation will be my penance, as it had always been, therefore, the…

Strange Fruit

I had recently adorned a vow of silence for myself with Miriam for no apparent reason whatsoever other than to suit my whim, and, regardless of the pettiness associated with this misdemeanour, I pray this will only strengthen us both in spirit for the coming days. The coming days are definitely not meant for one such as me.
In the next few hours, not shortly before I am done with this piece, this vow will be disavowed. Miriam is sleeping soundly in my right, broken by the exhaustion that seemed to catch her unaware. This was not what she had prepared for when coming to London. This was not what I meant for her when I asked her to come. In order to alleviate the guilt of me making it more difficult for us both, I do what it is that I do best, and that is to love her hungrily and wildly. And some little bit of swag on the side to cure her state of frustration albeit temporarily.
My days are long and yet wields very little. For now I do and take whatever I can, whenever I can. A grand f…

Decide my fate for me

As though the wind may pass with golden steps from shallow graves, the warmth of her hands could not defeat January weather in England, proving that tests of fate weigh heavier than the insidious intentions of a warring tribe. Perhaps it is high time I engage in other methods more worthy of personal consideration. She left me in the cold when my reality cloaked in malady was in full motion, sweating icicles in the interior, punching my guts in gutsy ups and gutsy downs. She was my meaning. She is my void.