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Me: Things that have happened to other people are happening in mine, the worst truly has come and not a moment too soon

My important wishes always happen to fall on deaf ears, and now something really, really bad (that has already happened before) is happening to me again. Beneath all the charade of misleading coulrotic bliss is a sad sap of a man merely wanting a bit of trust from everyone around him. Yesterday's news was Mioseon all over again, and it has drained me of all strength. The worst really has come, and heaven knows I'm miserable now.

So it goes without saying that the biggest tragedy I have ever undergone in my life is fighting for the life of my child whose face I will never see. The most perplexing event was having to beg over and over unknowingly oblivious to the fact that my words carry no weight at all. Mioseon had trapped me into a corner and made me complicit to a sin I tried very hard to disavow. Regardless, she had found a way, and judging from that experience, Miriam herself will submit me to the same torture all over again, guilty by association.

For some reason this was something I kind of expected when the relationship began. And as it blossomed into something even better than what I had with Mioseon, I knew I had something very special with Miriam. Now the same problems plague me so, and the same helplessness has grappled me once again, forced to spectate my own heart's wilting. I cannot do this again. I just cannot go through all of this madness once more. There is only so much I can take. And I truly value my relationship with Miriam to know that the fault was mine. Our union will forever be scarred by this if we go on. Nothing will ever be the same for me. Like a mark tattooed into my brain as a reminder of my isochronal failures.

I will never ever be able to understand; these moments are supposed to be celebrated, not discarded like a half-chewn gum. Most people would die for a moment like this, and gender inequality truly is a thing of the now.

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