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Showing posts from December, 2013

Busan: Urban Jungle (Christmas Melancholy)

Smiles wherever, smiles are free. Jungle life for the Christmas tree. Blue moon, blue sod, blue wind; fighting through the flesh, diminishing strength, and solidifying procrastination. Nampo-dong, how I miss thee.
A cup of cake, a Red Velvet, and an ever-friendly face. Is it true? You are my saviour, my light, when all else faded. Why. Why you. Why did it have to be you?
How close was I to sin when the tape ran smooth on my prickly and battered fingers? Weeks and weeks I laboured, and weeks I endured the wrath of longing. The moth torched her wings when I ignited it ad hoc. It was not my intention. It was all for the subject of love. 
And now it's over. The lights have come. We run away from things which we quickly realise are nothing but herrings. Christmas in Nampo-dong is for love and healing; but my heart is reeling, and my tears are killing. It's over now. Or is it?
Is it the love that I feel which is inextinguishable? Mioseon. Charm. Tough as nails; collapsing the gumpt…

Busan: International Party

It gets easier. But not as easy and as perfect as the fantasy shapes itself to be. Hardly anything that comes out of the horse's mouth turns into an orgasmic shape of affection and trust but instead of travesty and more torture. To top it all off, I clamour for the next high, or low, depending on one's point of view.
It's mental exhaustion. I don't think January is a time where goodbyes will become a forlorn thing. Indecisiveness, which has quite intermittently become a common denominator of my minute existence, serves as the main catalyst for the recipe of disaster that is about to be concocted. And every single person I meet over the course of these three months will become an accessory to this vile foolishness.
I went to Lzone again to pass my time. Having no cash with me is a primary reason to go about it. It was well worth it. I learned a couple of pointers on how to go about the remaining days of my stay here. Who knows where that takes me? Nothing makes absolut…

The Happiest Me

The Happiest Me

Busan: Troddling in Hadan

2:46 AM here. What am I doing? I have no fucking clue. What's my plan? I have no fucking clue. What am I waiting for? A miracle, that's what I'm waiting for. A goddamn miracle. There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me in this city, and yet I clamour every single day for two months now. What it is that I am searching for I always tell Rina that it's destiny that I'm waiting for, bursting from the tip of my tongue and into my heart, to calm the nerves and to waver my suffering from this godawful situation. Like Johnny in Naked, I gallivant to allow the opportunity of life to pass me by, to give meaning to the bits and pieces of nothingness that surround not just me but everyone else around me. It's funny, sometimes I want to lean to God for guidance, but what can that do the reality of the situation. If it was meant to be, it's going to happen either way. Will I ever hear from Mioseon again? I was watching old videos of us in Youtube. A ceremonio…

Busan: Nearing Christmas, Missing Mioseon More and More

Hi there. It's been a weird week for me over here in Busan. Literally nothing happened. No memories made whatsoever. I spent it all thinking about heartbreaks and miseries hiding in a hole within a stall in Seomyeon. Penniless and free, there is nothing productive about me at all. I'm dreaming of winning it all, winning the world over, winning Mioseon back. Winning mostly the impossible, I guess. Christmas is coming soon. How can an alien fool like me spend it in the warm company of this city? The dry cold has nothing to offer but regrets, mulling and weeping over past mistakes. 2013 has been the worst year so far in my life. Love makes everything so complicated and painful. Tomorrow comes a new weekend and nothing awaits me but envy. Why should I be envious of other people's joy? Why is everyone seemingly so gleeful despite the cruel hams of this glorious local society? I met people on Monday that may matter, but not in the long run. My trousers haven't changed since…

Busan: Gussie Fink-Nottle

Sabrina and I are finding a way to go to Seoul with minimal costs for just a short amount of time. A Christmas visit, 'tis all. Bored out of our wits, I would say. There are plenty of things in Busan but nothing that concerns us now. I have no clue what to do and even as we speak I find myself stuck inside a PC bang here in Seomyeon for almost 36 hours now straight. I need to find a way to return to my Hobbiton soon.
Desolation of Smaug is coming to theatres soon. It was almost yesterday when me and Mioseon watched the first film at Odeon in Leicester Square. It was a lovely evening.
Lately I've been binging on Jeeves and Wooster to pass my time. Cheerio.

Busan: Moving on is never about moving on

Staying in Seomyeon is not as merry as it should.
It only feeds my sadness more. I'm always thinking about what Mioseon is doing at the moment, or if she is still scared of me for some reason. But she apparently moved on, seems like. There is no indication she hasn't. And if for some fault it is only in my part that I cannot find a wonderful future then this indeed is a fucked up life. I came to Seomyeon in part of Sabrina's charm and to cool off from that one weird incident. 
Nothing happens here. But last night I've been told by the trendy and fashionable citizens of Busan that I am also fashionable and trendy in a more sincere manner than I've ever had, albeit showerless and stink-prone.


After the incident last night with Mioseon and her father and all, I woke up feeling wheezy and tired and I just had to let it all pass for some time. A wee bit of time off. Sabrina and Oliver and me planned to go to church. Spoiler: We didn't go. Oliver did. Sabrina and I found ourselves stranded in Nampo-dong, finally. After a long, long time.
It was nice to show her around Nampo-dong, Rina and I. Felt a bit local-ish for a few minutes. A true Nampo-saram, felt like. Of course I just had to show her BIFF Square. The busy, bustling street food scene and the market vibes of Busan during Sunday overwhelmed us both. We did quite a lot. We started with coffee and a cupcake in dear, old Red Velvet. Nice to see familiar faces roaming about. Kinder ones now, unlike the passively hostile ones in Sinpyeong. 
We walked quite a lot going from here to there. I kept on searching for the banana-que that was supposed to be near Bupyeong but I could not, for the life of me, find it. We saw waeg…

Busan: Mioseon hates me

I saw her today at half past five. She was beautiful as always, wore the classiest getup I've ever seen her sport, and she was walking towards the tube station heading towards somewhere. This was my opportunity to try to speak to her for probably the last time, but when she caught a glimpse of me walking towards her, she just dashed madly towards the first taxi she saw. 
There is no end to this pain, I reckon. She's never interested in wanting to explain why it has come to this. 
By the time she was about to come home at around eleven at night, she probably asked her father to fetch her and he eventually caught on me, like I was some kind of a criminal. I walked away not wanting any commotion and they met and went home soundly. 
Why can't these people just understand my misery? I need answers to move on. I need help the only way I know how. 
She's probably moved on farther than I have ever been. Safe in the arms of someone else's joy. My joy is tucked be…

Busan: Muse

Back to where I landed. There's been changes. Nothing changes. She's there, not there. I don't know. Sometimes I can feel her through the window and that feeling is defenestrated by the desire to do something else less boring. She haunts me, all the time, even while I slumber. When I do remember her, a cocktail of rage and love concocts itself to provide me a dose of sadness.
December, promises.