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Today I am going talk about nothing because that's all there is really. What is it about nothingness that is so alluring most people have it but also doesn't have it at the same time? And is there a choice whether or not you are lucky or unlucky to be one of the very many chosen ones to suffer the same fate? I will try to avoid speaking intellectually for the sake of the masses, not that I'm implying I have any, but to make it a lot more easier and simpler for all the busybodies out there unaware of the possibilities that someday life will also be nothing for them. What is it that drives us? What is it that does not? Nothing. A word so empty yet full of definition. Make something out of nothing kind of philosophy. Will there be any chance of irrefutable evidence that nothing is also something? How about everything?

Ironically, nothing is something because it is most often used as an indefinite pronoun. Therefore, it stands for something, whatever nothing is, or it is not. It is like when I say, 'Nothing is worse than my pathetic-infested soul.' Is nothing merely no thing? Or is it possibly a thing? Questionable as it may seem. It is no wonder that I have a strange fascination in the world of Nietzsche, that philosopher, yes. He is often associated with nihilism which, for a lack of better definition, believes in the worst possible scepticism for existence in general. I don't really know but somehow I am drawn to that belief and it somehow takes its shape and form into my own. That which to my existence lies wherein my faith is absent it is predominant and alive. The only thing that is missing are the right words to fit it all together and come up with something (or nothing) that will give value to what is already in place and what isn't. Sometimes I wonder the potential I could achieve if given that valuable chance, but I have all the chance in the world! That's the sad part! Where has that potential I've been seeking all along be lurking about? Or is it already in me and I fail to grasp and understand its limitedness? How do I start? Where do I begin? Will I ever even begin it? How do I end that which I so loathe now?

In the end nothingness is more about the question whether or not that something which is already established establishes another form from nothing to something. That is how I interpret that idea which will ultimately glorify all those conceived ideas I have had ever since. Despite that dilemma I will continue to dwell into these lifelong passion into ideas and somehow put them simply into words that are so maniacally difficult to attain. But first, I have to go to the bathroom, crap and shower, make use of all the nice things I bought the other day from the drug store, make myself look pathetic in front of a live, imaginary audience and continue to blabber on about the state of stupidity and pretend inferiority to encourage the arrogance.

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Call it a burning desire to urinate on the system that we as people have established; status quo. Felt a huge fluctuation of anxiety when I finished this day earlier than what I would have thought or expected, and it was technically my first day of job (again), and huge surges of this same rhetoric came pouring back in when Miriam and I have not been having proper back-and-forths since yesterday. It was as if we had lost interest with one another just like that. Either that or I have been consumed by the same system of dependency. The bug that I caught long ago that ruined me to smithereens.
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