Skip to main content

Day 1: Rise and fall

Okay, so the continuation to Creep will have to wait. These past few days have been quite rocky and last night turns out to be the last straw. I gave up on life and everything associated with it in general. Now I normally don't get dragged down by someone else's burdens but if that someone else turns out to be someone who has been with you throughout your existence then you might as well forget it. The 'fuckingness' absurdity of the one to blame is near impossible to vindicate, so my only answer to that was just to run away. As fast as I can. Away from all the petty foolishness brought on either by someone you love or someone you love but you don't love no more, just so you could avoid that irresistible urge to retaliate and commit something else more heinous that you undoubtedly would regret. I'm 100% homeless, without a place to call my own, without anyone to care in the world, without a fiver in my wallet. Not even my wallet itself. Left it there with the jolly fuckers at home rejoicing for finally getting the boy with a thorn on his side away from their thornier thorns on their sides.  I don't know how long I would last in this ever continuous ghastly weather. I don't even have any idea where to sleep. I immediately thought of finding a very pathetic job just to hopefully make ends meet, although I left my National Insurance number in my wallet. No chance in hell I'm going to survive now having only carried some clothes and this laptop and phone. This can of worms I've opened is quite tedious. I'll need all the help I can without requiring any assistance, and there is no way in hell to do just that. Banging my dick on the wall wouldn't help either. My eyes droop at the hint of evening cold, tears undulate rolling down into my neck, not of sadness or pain but of aggression. This pitfall I have found myself into will not be the end of me. My mother, father, they will pay dearly. There just comes a point in time that even the taboo of not being able to honour thy father and mother needs a hard kick in the groin. I'll just wait and see, bleed as well white licorice.

Popular posts from this blog

Strange Fruit

I had recently adorned a vow of silence for myself with Miriam for no apparent reason whatsoever other than to suit my whim, and, regardless of the pettiness associated with this misdemeanour, I pray this will only strengthen us both in spirit for the coming days. The coming days are definitely not meant for one such as me.
In the next few hours, not shortly before I am done with this piece, this vow will be disavowed. Miriam is sleeping soundly in my right, broken by the exhaustion that seemed to catch her unaware. This was not what she had prepared for when coming to London. This was not what I meant for her when I asked her to come. In order to alleviate the guilt of me making it more difficult for us both, I do what it is that I do best, and that is to love her hungrily and wildly. And some little bit of swag on the side to cure her state of frustration albeit temporarily.
My days are long and yet wields very little. For now I do and take whatever I can, whenever I can. A grand f…

True Blue

Bits and pieces of things long lost have started appearing out of nowhere all of a sudden. Memories of people, places, and thoughts associated with my belongings knock at the door waiting to be let in, never to be left on its own accord. I am to be the master puppeteer of this cerebral construct, of nightmares I wish were forgotten, of people I wish to rid all manner of associations with.
Mother had surprised Miriam with a message for me. Of a very far-fetched idea on how to maximise my potential to become something which I totally am not. A preacher for a religion I have absolutely no faith of of all things. Perhaps as a way to once again fuck up and atone for the totality of my insufferable existence. Fortunately for me I now have total control of my destiny. Something of which has never brought me much satisfaction, in fairness, true, but still the freedom to be a clueless and monumental buffoon is much more satisfying than to be a scholar trapped in the confines of virility, prej…

Snippet: In her darkest days, Elaine (worldbuilding), unfinished

Voices of strange busybodies could be heard on the other side of the edifice. Elaine reckoned she recognised one of them. An old friend. Perhaps not necessarily a friend, or not technically a friend. A friend is a rare commodity for her these days. She could walk right past them and not blink an eye, but Elaine waited for a little bit more until the lot toned down. Having a group of opposites around her, poking her skin through their eyes, meticulously making sure she was an enabler who to them an abundant source of entertainment, was all the reason needed to convince herself to back away from the complexity of it all. Home is an awful lot more awful than this place though, Elaine thought, as she gripped her handbag tightly, hoping the ray of darkness from the moon would envelope her and shield her from the attention of the lonesome trail.
"This would not have happened had you only listened to me, Elaine," complained Darco. "Half the people out there would skin us both…