Okay, so the continuation to Creep will have to wait. These past few days have been quite rocky and last night turns out to be the last straw. I gave up on life and everything associated with it in general. Now I normally don't get dragged down by someone else's burdens but if that someone else turns out to be someone who has been with you throughout your existence then you might as well forget it. The 'fuckingness' absurdity of the one to blame is near impossible to vindicate, so my only answer to that was just to run away. As fast as I can. Away from all the petty foolishness brought on either by someone you love or someone you love but you don't love no more, just so you could avoid that irresistible urge to retaliate and commit something else more heinous that you undoubtedly would regret. I'm 100% homeless, without a place to call my own, without anyone to care in the world, without a fiver in my wallet. Not even my wallet itself. Left it there with the jolly fuckers at home rejoicing for finally getting the boy with a thorn on his side away from their thornier thorns on their sides. I don't know how long I would last in this ever continuous ghastly weather. I don't even have any idea where to sleep. I immediately thought of finding a very pathetic job just to hopefully make ends meet, although I left my National Insurance number in my wallet. No chance in hell I'm going to survive now having only carried some clothes and this laptop and phone. This can of worms I've opened is quite tedious. I'll need all the help I can without requiring any assistance, and there is no way in hell to do just that. Banging my dick on the wall wouldn't help either. My eyes droop at the hint of evening cold, tears undulate rolling down into my neck, not of sadness or pain but of aggression. This pitfall I have found myself into will not be the end of me. My mother, father, they will pay dearly. There just comes a point in time that even the taboo of not being able to honour thy father and mother needs a hard kick in the groin. I'll just wait and see, bleed as well white licorice.
Dark, darker, darkest, there is no difference. All hurts the same. Pain, everlasting, lingering. Pain, day and night. The hours are uncertain. Anything can happen now. Thinking about it hurts. Truth is unreliable. The romance is dead. My heart, it is lost. Unrecoverable, hateful, distrusting. Wishful, perhaps, but I have lost everything before and survived still. This one was special. So special. Embittered, the tip of my tongue tastes. The flavour of my life. Cuisine of kitchens unwanted. It burns, to the heart. I do not understand. I do not understand.