It is with deep regret and anxiety as I begin writing this update. I know that my inevitable demise would soon come to a sudden strike. I wholeheartedly accept it as my own and frankly am eager of the new and excitingly different things in store for me in the future. The thing is I really am unfortunate in things that make me blissfully complete. Just as I am about to finish the studio, a whole thing comes along in the form of a woman, someone so special to me and so endearing I'd probably bleed a bucket just to make her smile an inch. I am very saddened and embittered by the suddenness of this fiasco and I want to cling on to whatever is left of this, no matter what the cost. I don't want to compromise anything but if need be I will. Just show me a sign or whatever, please give me effort to do the things that I normally can't and will not. All will be taken for granted, I promise you that. Fuck the world, in with love.
Dark, darker, darkest, there is no difference. All hurts the same. Pain, everlasting, lingering. Pain, day and night. The hours are uncertain. Anything can happen now. Thinking about it hurts. Truth is unreliable. The romance is dead. My heart, it is lost. Unrecoverable, hateful, distrusting. Wishful, perhaps, but I have lost everything before and survived still. This one was special. So special. Embittered, the tip of my tongue tastes. The flavour of my life. Cuisine of kitchens unwanted. It burns, to the heart. I do not understand. I do not understand.