Honi soit qui mal y pense

Time flies but it is never enough. Perhaps the most damning tell about how life has changed is the preference to be outside the realm of norm. Getting older and being more composed -- well, I have never been composed. These things supposedly are the hurdles to overcome prior to reaching natural maturity. Some are moulded by their circumstances, some are moulded by necessity, some by fear, and some by heartbreak. In the grand scheme of things, I have had none of these things, the things that give some value or flavour to being. Mediocrity has somehow always been my opulence. The rest of the short days ahead will never be valued as highly as I have ever had since last I had a proper taste of true happiness. That is a primary issue -- I no longer ever remember the event that I consider to be the happiest I have ever been.

Kate's arrival a few days ago kind of shook my boredom away, but it meant very little in the end. We shared precious moments together, and she even spent a few days staying at home to imbibe on companionship, and suffice to say I believe that is as much as it goes in terms of where it ends. It would be toxic to assume anything else other than a faint praise of my ability to hold a conversation. In the end I got tired so very quickly and abruptly.

Destiny has a funny way of teasing its wake of destruction. Destiny -- or whatever it actually is.

Do you think that the amoeba ever dreamed that it would evolve into the frog? Of course it didn't. And when that first frog shimmied out of the water and employed its vocal chords in order to attract a mate or to retard a predator, do you think that that frog ever imagined that that incipient croak would evolve into all the languages of the world, into all the literature of the world? Of course it fucking didn't. And just as that froggy could never possibly have conceived of Shakespeare, so we can never possibly imagine our destiny.

And so it shall be that further questions of crises remain on hold until such answers no longer are perturbed... which the answer clearly is, well, never.