Yesterday I was her little munchkin

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It was fortuitous that what was supposed to be a minor date turned into a siesta.

I took to bed at nine in the morning and had my alarm at one in the afternoon. It did nothing to me as usual. Mother had grumbled of this and that and try as I might to let these cacophonies peddle negativities in my mind, I have to endure the indignity of no solace for quite a bit more. There is not much to be had on a four-degree-weather Sunday. Sundays are for sabbaticals, and I had foregone that religious aspect in me a long time ago.

Candela had informed me the day before that she is dropping by for an hour and wants to have a meal before she leaves for the holidays, but for every message she sent me is an hour I spent catching winks. But I for one am glad it happened as it did. It would be disingenuous to meet up; spend an hour prepping and rushing the commute, beso, eat, adiรณs, go home. I had my rotors all in a flux trying to balance every single minute detail of my daily activities, micromanaging aspects of my life that I have not bothered to give a side-by-side shit about before. Eventually the nightmare comes in the form of consistency. Of which I certainly could use and learn more of. Finding some consistency in me is like finding out lovage is part of the parsley family. Who gives a fellating fuck? So if Candela later on decides that I am no longer someone to be bothered with due to this minor infraction, then I will Daft Punk my path forward.

This next one has nothing to do with Candela, however. "I love you" is the most obtrusive three-lettered word expectation from someone you yearn, and once it finally arrives, it either burns or soothes. Mine was wasabi made and dyed of horseradish. That is not to imply I did not like it, but if I really wanted to like it, I would have it heartfelt with both our eyes uninterspersed. I will know it when it comes, and so will she. And by she I mean Ainhoa. Her Duchenne eyes would melt my agelastic smile (oxymoron); Hitleresque in its form, and Mansonic in its execution. I love her with all my might and heart and soul.

And now my biggest fear will be the rescue of me. Strange how it turns out that way.

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