The second half of the worst year of the century starts now -- we must persevere (the worst of the worst is yet to come)

Time has slowed me down drastically. I feel my mind slowly deteriorating with every ordeal, every heartache, every bad news the mainstream media is willing to construe as truth. Truth seems to be conflated with reality most of the time. These two concepts are not mutually exclusive, though the similarities are deceivingly very familiar.

The situation at home is far from the ideal view I have of it. Miriam and I continue to have relatively minor squabbles over mundane tasks or experiences, albeit no cause for concern as our past infractions. Our challenges are mostly financial; me having to struggle being parsimonious while she struggles as usual to remain stingy. The only time I have ever gotten peeves over her spending was what I feel to be her struggles with smoking addiction. The constant need to supply herself with tobacco, purchasing a pack each and every time she visits the an off licence, at the risk of eventually running out and driving her to madness, while my advice fall to deaf ears. I want her to stop, but I want her to stop on her own volition. Right now she remains knee-deep inside the pit of looming despair of wanton recklessness of her health and well-being. My powerlessness over these types of matters sometimes get to me in ways even I frustrate myself with trying best to comprehend.

It has been said over and over already, but this year has proven to be the worst year of this century yet, and we are only halfway there. All sorts of Orwellian nightmares loom about our society nowadays, it is hard to actually come to terms with the severity of our decay as people. Even Orwell himself would have not foreseen the twist that in this lifetime our animal farm of what we call Earth would view Big Brother in the plural form, and that he is not only the evil that Orwell described as a vague juxtaposition of government, but also the society itself that it governs that are just as corrupted as the corruptee, who are now themselves governours of their own court, facts be damned.

Yes, it is alarming indeed that such modern horrors now replace, or perhaps outweigh, the sufferings that we all once had, but it is definitely not the end. As the days grow nearer to this impending catastrophe that surely will follow, must I heed my instincts and draw the appropriate actions befitting of mine own survival (or demise, whichever which complies with the idea of my salvation).