Skip to main content

The fight to leave this country and go to South Korea

My life will certainly not be reassured of any penance after starting this Korean odyssey, but it will certainly jumpstart it into a different setting and a new beginning. It's been taking so long to fix this and I fear that my vendetta will be sorely disappointed with the results. Protip: It's going to be a train wreck. 

I haven't told Mioseon yet and I don't intend to anytime soon. My plan was to come guns blazing and see things for myself in unadulterated sight. This is to feed my paranoia, the thing that keeps me alone in a dark room as a self-proclaimed hikikomori. A couple of days before the hour of reckoning, and I feel a strange sensation that everything that I've ever worked for will self-destruct right before my eyes. I'm so fucking stoked that I ate a bagful of my own fingernails in excitement.

Money. It all falls down to money. Once my visa arrives, I head down immediately to the Korean embassy and wait for confirmation. Then from London I would devise a plan to get to Seoul then to Busan the cheapest way. By hook or by crook, I need to be there. I need to witness for myself. 

With my trusty rucksack and a heart full of hurt, I will labour this demise. I know the address, I have the dictionary needed to be able to converse, and I have the determination to survive whatever else happens. The last thing that Mioseon will expect is me camping out her window.

Popular posts from this blog

And then...

Four hours and ticking and I cannot seem to be copacetic to the privacy of her suspicious absence. How could I be when frightening tremors had shook their country just earlier today? It has been quite common to read about earthquakes rocking Italy recently, and the more these events take place, the more people feel less surprised about the fatalities. At the moment, I can sit on this chair being bothered by Starbucks personnel every half an hour or so, waiting for updates of Miriam's whereabouts. Surely she would be safe. I suppose my fears always come back to bite me in my arse. This is a farcry from mine fears. Far be it from the truth, I will not let it tear me asunder. She will be back to me soon enough, and then it would not take long before she will be in my arms, singing praises of our love, beneath the starry sky and our duvet. There is this unusual feeling of dread knowing that tomorrow I will be once again immersed into a job that I do not love; a return to form; of bei…

Strange Fruit

I had recently adorned a vow of silence for myself with Miriam for no apparent reason whatsoever other than to suit my whim, and, regardless of the pettiness associated with this misdemeanour, I pray this will only strengthen us both in spirit for the coming days. The coming days are definitely not meant for one such as me.
In the next few hours, not shortly before I am done with this piece, this vow will be disavowed. Miriam is sleeping soundly in my right, broken by the exhaustion that seemed to catch her unaware. This was not what she had prepared for when coming to London. This was not what I meant for her when I asked her to come. In order to alleviate the guilt of me making it more difficult for us both, I do what it is that I do best, and that is to love her hungrily and wildly. And some little bit of swag on the side to cure her state of frustration albeit temporarily.
My days are long and yet wields very little. For now I do and take whatever I can, whenever I can. A grand f…

Uff

Call it a burning desire to urinate on the system that we as people have established; status quo. Felt a huge fluctuation of anxiety when I finished this day earlier than what I would have thought or expected, and it was technically my first day of job (again), and huge surges of this same rhetoric came pouring back in when Miriam and I have not been having proper back-and-forths since yesterday. It was as if we had lost interest with one another just like that. Either that or I have been consumed by the same system of dependency. The bug that I caught long ago that ruined me to smithereens.
The long-winding hours, that which I felt was necessary, was to be a time of reprieve and a time to catch breath. It turned out to be much more toxic that it should be, and it came to pass faster than it should and I now feel poisoned and abused by the thought of having allowed this in the first place. Tomorrow is what I would consider a real test of my endurance, when I work from seven in the mo…