Monday, 21 June 2010

Waking up at 11 PM

I reiterate
Weekends are the goddamn worst
There is no halfway

Sunday, 20 June 2010

There is none more soothing

Than a bath aftermath!


Queen of tarpaulin
She caught my glimpse
Every single night
On the same freeway
She was a stranger
As was I to her
She was always in mind
Like a bird with a tree to call home
It's unfair knowing
She doesn't know me
But I know her
Think of her
This agony
This disease
She needs to know me
So she knows what it feels like
But will she think of me?
Let's find out about that


There is no hope of bringing back the things I lost
The things I cherished and things I loathed
It was all part of someone else's machinations
I think it pitiful and sad to be that way
There comes a time when you'd want to break free from yourself
Knowing yourself isn't even your own
There is no such thing as freedom
Uncertainty is the only certain thing in life
I hope my being uncertain stays that way
Who knows this uncertain will one day be certain


The world is dark inside my room
Here lies solitude in bed
Delusions of memories haunt us both
Never existing nor withering
A carousel of melancholy


My fingers touch hers
Nothing worth feeling
She says there's nothing worse
Than a pretentious human being
I asked her, "Me?"
And she said, "No."
She lied, you see
That much I know

I wanted her to tell me all
The things that make her feel so sad
Little I knew I had to crawl
Beneath the bed to find the lad
She was furious
Why would she be?
She's delirious
It should have been me

Saturday, 19 June 2010

Smell of sleep-deprived breakfast

When a few people begin ignoring me I feel a sort of entitlement to say I'd really rather not care, but the truth of the matter is that deep down inside I truly am affected, both by criticisms and personal nitpicks directed towards me in hostile fashion. A typical reaction I exhibit as defence mechanism is to counter-ignore that said person, and so far it has been the root of all my problems with regards to the relationship, or whatever is left of it, not just to that said person but including everyone that surrounds me. It just decays itself in that situational anxiety and becomes a part of it, rotting in on itself and nobody would care to notice. Not even me. Or maybe I do notice it, to be frank, but the thing is what can I do about it? Nothing. Might as well swallow that wasted pride down the bucket and suck on bollocks. The ride home is one helluva shitstorm.

Carry on my awkward son.

Friday, 18 June 2010

Pime Taradox

I don't think there is any justification to the repercussions surrounding the tragedy of my ongoing petty, routine-roulette-charmed kind of life. The only alibi worth mentioning is that I am partly to blame for all this. And to what extent this false humility matters? None.

Thursday, 17 June 2010


So, I, like, bought tea the other day because I'm, like, British now and all that. I tried it this morning and for the love of Jupiter's cuckoo I almost shat bricks. It's really nice, I think I will be applying this one to my everyday lifestyle but diarrhea isn't really part of what I had in store in mind. Oh, the agony.

And there is this Spanish dude right next door to me. Never spoke to him yet. Yes, I am a little bit intimidated and scared and wary and concerned and annoyed and angry but nonetheless it's cool. As long as he saves me from funkey (funny monkey) businesses, it's good.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Fly me to the moon

Backtracking my very first blog in this godforsaken place, I can't help but be in a sort of trance to realize that it was about Bayonetta when it was only until today where I finally get to finish this sexually innuendoed game. It was a very long journey and countless frustrations merely brought up by equally frustrating Final Fantasy XIII. These games did not suffer by being awful, it just so happened that hype and long development does not equate best game in the world.

Well anyway, that last part before Bayonetta ended was intense. Surely the second iteration will not pull a Resistance 2 on us now, will they? Sure hope not.

Saturday, 12 June 2010

It's over

This is actually just a premonition still but I get the feeling my days in class are over. For good. Finally. I get to breathe in steadily and fine. Summer workshop kept in touch with me earlier today and it feels mighty good to have a dose of familiar soup with them soul poetics. 'Tis a day of celebration! But methinks mesad still. Memories are a wicked.

Friday, 11 June 2010

Dearly Departed

When I woke up it seems like my world was caving in. Until my heart found a way into harmony. And it sucks because I realize how it can't remain in this state more than what I felt today. So it shattered into a million pieces again. Never to recover, never to stand. Another failed connection.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Avoiding the can of worms

Hey, wall of text. How are you today? Feeling good? Yes, I am. Thank you for asking. Yes, it is my second day today doing my shitty writing. Finally, a structure! Thank God! I stole the next room's table and put it on my own. It's really lovely, you should see it some time. All I need now is my gaming chair and everything would be lovely, yes. I bought a dictionary today, but it wasn't a real dictionary per se. You see, it has a secret. Secret that only I know (for now). Know where I bought it? No? From a gadget shop down at Westfield! So that means there's something funny about it. Well, there is in fact quite different about it. You see, it's not really a dictionary. It has no pages or anything like that. It's an undercover safebox! No one will know about it except me! Of course! What? I'm acting weird? No you! Yes you! Oh shut up.

Monday, 7 June 2010

Cleaning up

Doing minor adjustments in the household can be pretty tiresome and boring. Not anymore. See, I changed. I don't want to be the person I was before. I'm kind of cool now. I'm still lazy, but sufficient enough to get myself organized when the need arises. I have to take care of myself if I were to venture to the earthly horizons on my own. The need to set aside procrastination is slowly growing up inside me. I am a reborn everyman.

Just like an ordinary, self-loathing adult. Wait, what? 

Ignorance is bliss; unless you learn something.

This Greek movie Dogtooth is one to watch out for. It is macabrely brilliant in a sense that it portrays a situation fit for a disturbed, thinking soul. I was impressed, quite frankly. The deliverance of each moment was interesting. Most bits and pieces of a particular scene insinuate the ups and downs of political correctness. I was mostly confused from the beginning up to the middle half of the film with it being so ambiguous until the latter. Even so I found myself asking more questions until the end. You can say that what added juice to the premise was the unorthodox screenplay made.

Perplexing philosophy, just the way masochistic critics like it.

Sunday, 6 June 2010

A Kabuki To Remember

It is difficult to nitpick on something as foreign as this kabuki play I had just witnessed not long ago tonight. The mixture of refreshing cultural diversity and unorthodoxness is welcoming and, for lack of a better term, fun. I am a witness, along with my faithful companions, to the rich, wondrous history of Japanese art of dance-slash-drama, specifically coined Yoshitsune Senbon Zakura. Despite having difficulty with the distance of the stage and my blurry eyesight, as we were sitting atop near the highest in the opera house watching heads wander along and faces indistinguishable, one cannot deny the intensity of the performing prowess, unknowingly drawn to awe as the beat of the drum rumbles ever so loudly.

So as a foreigner bearing sight to the amazing spectacle to modern adaptations of cultural epic, let heroes be judged and subject to inquisition whether or not this Ebizo Ichikawa XI guy's fame was well worth the ride:


Body fluidity: I personally really liked seeing Ebizo's character, the fake Tadanobu and a kitsune, as he performs his role. He was frankly the best performer all in all, no doubt. Every time he tics and twitches, like somebody bearing Tourette's, was very fluid and you will notice the body discipline in which he stood out among the rest, showing why he truly deserves his name title. All the other characters were satisfactorily amazing in their own right, peculiarly the only male as a  female character Shizuka, General Yoshitsune's lover.

Music: The thunderous thumping and clicking of instruments were in perfect tune and perfect timing making it one of the best aspects of the play. Every melody fits categorically on that particular scenario. Not to mention the uniqueness of the rhythm is purely classic Japanese. Act two was notably the part where music is perfectly portrayed wherein the people playing the shamisen are clearly visible on stage.

Humour: There were particular funny moments wherein you, as an audience, would react by impulse because of being, probably unintentionally, menacingly cute. One cannot resist the set of actions put together to make that scene both vivid and entertaining at the same time. 

Fight scenes: Although most of it were open to artistic interpretation, it was performed admirably impressive. The dances and the choreographic body swaying of the protagonist and the supporting cast were sensible and coherent. There is a sense of similar pattern among all the whirling movements and, not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but it was in a way characteristically uniformed.

Costumes: Retro-Japanese dresses are really nice. Lots of familiar colour to flatter the countenance of each character. Each kimono stands out and tells a different story on its own.

Props: The stage was not as huge as one would expect it to be and so the design of the set and equipments were kept as minimal as possible. Even so, the way they kept the place neat up was evidently very showy of symbols like the cherry trees, leaves, mountain pathways down to the dojo.


Pace: Being a foreigner watching and trying to decipher what it is that is going on is painfully difficult if the pace of the plot is too slow. I notice Edgard, who was sitting beside me, nodding to sleep fifteen minutes into the play. Although most people would debate it to be quintessential, I have to differ my opinion in this matter. 

Translator: The guy in the speaker was obnoxiously boring to listen to. Instead of trying to help people understand further most of what is going on around, he will basically aid you to slumber. I loathed every moment of it. There were times when I just want to cringe nonstop. My head was in a world of pain afterwards. I cannot understand much what the characters were saying but I can definitely say his interpretations were late and lacking. There were even moments where he states the obvious making the whole scene laughably anticlimactic.

Plot: I would probably get bashed for this but I really thought it needed a kind of reboot or some sort. I figured it was something that Hans Christian Andersen conjured up. Japanese cliches are, for me, pleasant but the cheesiness can be a bit stretchy, lengthy. 

Overall I really appreciated the whole play. It is something that any person should experience first-hand in their lifetime. It isn't so much as memorably overwhelming but towards the end the appreciation of the lush, cultural nonconformity is satisfying.

The Japanese people have their own uncanny way of showing how much we, as foreigners, have to value the importance of something of your own. It taught me a manner of selfishness that does not necessarily hinder with my values and virtues as a rational human being. I saw artistic brilliance which I could never possess in me. That tells me something of a different matter which I could elaborate further next time. Ebizo Ichikawa XI deserves his praise as a performer, boldly showing how far originality has since long gone.

I would like to thank all the people who made this possible; Aki-sama, for opening the door of possibility to this epic marvel; Marcos-sempai, for being stubbornly himself; Asami-sama, for being so nice and accommodating, always carrying with her her nice, broken smile; and Edgard-sempai, for sitting beside me patiently, and dozing off at the most inopportune climactic part of the play.

Saturday, 5 June 2010


Later on we'll be heading to Sadler's Wells in Angel to watch a Japanese play. Never heard of this play before but this one is seemingly very popular. I Wiki'd parts of it weeks ago and to my astonishment the main actor in the play comes from a long line of talent that bears the same name. A little freaky, if you ask me.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Setting perspectives straight

Whilst the world slowly turns to slumber, the death of my human character shudders giving thought to the limited, fallible potential of a characteristic: the persona. Now that pain and anxiety is rampant and exceedingly in highest gear, it's time to move on to the grander, much more elevating commotion in motion. 

Search and destroy