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Showing posts from November, 2014

First night out in a very long time

Week ago, Kate messaged. Invited me to a night out on a Wednesday night. It's been months since our last correspondence. I would have figured myself out of the equation by now. But there she was.
I missed it. Viewed it on the Thursday. The day after. Shrugged it off. Had a frolick with my rogue on retail. Couldn't call it fun because it had recently become a tedious routine. An obvious no choice, alternative. Couldn't even leave a word to Nina yet. Or Yeji. People that I miss most that I haven't seen in person. Fucking knobhead, I am.
Replied to Kate on the Monday. We sorted stuff out on the Tuesday, and met on Wednesday. Blues night, we thought.
Weeks and months came and went. This was my first social interaction in a long time. Body got knackered easily at the effort involved with commuting alone, hellish. No trousers available. It's been months, like I said. I don't even have clothes any longer. Had to snatch one that fits, however ghastly. Sky blue denims.…

Inactive inaction

Halfway through the month and I realise how much I despise November. November. I devoted my moustache to your demand. A demand unreciprocated, unappreciated. Same time last year, I considered my life forfeit, grasping straws, breathing rubble, hoping for a glimpse, an answer, mercy. And just now thoughts of her still linger by.
First year. How many years more to endure? It's all blank since then, embalmed back into irrelevance. No sincere happiness. Shallowest smiles swing some sunny Sunday. Sunny Sunday. Followed by a year of Holiday. The gloomiest of Sundays.
I can breathe. Waking up is improving by a nanometre. Fry trivia drive my day, source of smile, endless. Dirty as fuck, unkempt, with a whiff of unglamorous scent. Ass stuck to bed. The thought of separating from this cramp shithole of a bedroom makes my skin crawl in panic, head asplodes, joy turned to ashes. The outside world reminds me of a certain person. My mind screams AVOID. Everything in it reminds me of that. Wish…

Love/Hate

Immersion @ Borean Tundra