Lazy from C-Z

Dreamt a long dream for only four hours straight, felt like an eternity in an abyss of subconscious nightmare and fantasy. The congested mattress stinks of sweat and brine. The harmonious, jazzy ringtone of a cellular phone filled my ears with discord. It is almost half past two in the afternoon. The eyes attached to my head, fiery and blood red, quiver with lack of sleep, bouncing up and down, back and forth. Unlocked the phone to discover almost a dozen missed phone calls, half a dozen left text messages, and one or two voicemails. Too lazy to bother, already especially aware of the intentions. Immediately rose up to a disruptive error that plagued his streaming tunes on his LED. What a bother. For every second wasted breaking the comfort of the illusive dream, an angel bleeds from its ears, all sad and weary of the tragedy that befell the sodding conflict of the man with a mission. 'I must have my ears,' I remember telling myself as I sat at my bedside, browsing for some lu...

Apparition  ©  The sky tore his thoughts asunder, his limbs shaken, his eyes melting, and his back bent, simply at the mere sight of the eidolic woman in view. For once, he understood the essence of the warmth that began to build up inside of him, and he embraced it wholeheartedly knowing fully well one day his time to love will envelop his deep loathing.

Picturesque ©  Sometime last April, a man stood by and made a deceptive move just to see half of the above specimen. He gathered his whim and called out his nerves, calmed them down to oblivion, suddenly armed with a damsel by his side. There his adventure on that night began, and soon discovered things more than he ever foresaw...

The ground stinks of piss in a carriage full of men. Persistent filth and bygone tragedies. There I sat looking to quench a sudden thirst. A belly button stood up to wave a sleeping man goodbye, and for a split second, acknowledges my forceful stare. She walks away, I look away. The carriage moves on. The scent lingers, when I realise the soles of my feet are completely submerged in the shallow puddle of liquid. Images of terror swoop in to catch my every reaction. I would horripilate if not for the hope of departure in seconds more time. To make things worse, a drunkard continually coughs across from where I sat, his face flushed and mildly red, like a clown with no makeup, completely moist but dry. My mind invents horrific ways to distort the image to my liking to no avail, and instead of wanting the urge to assassinate, my agile body quickly reacts jumping at the first possible millisecond the door showed signs of opening. Freedom is the utmost key, and my mind quickly forgot the fe...

It's the season to think of women for no reason, of small women taller than me. Her eyes despise the scent of my shirt that apparently screams 'rape'. Yet one other shrugs, and her long neck shivers. She has stolen a few winks. She could never be, a wannabe, could it be? And more came crashing, none strikes as equally odd to me. I ponder the reason, the treason, why this season is a fraud. The same as the other season, the same as the other sod. Self-loathing and life as usual while thinking of ways to love and cherish myself and others.

"Beauty is character and expression. However, there is nothing in Nature with more character than the human body. By its force or its grace it evokes the most varied images. At times, it resembles a flower—the flexion of the torso imitates the stem, the smile the breasts, the head and the sheen of the hair represent the blooming of the corolla… And at other times, the human body curved back is like a spring, a beautiful bow on which Eros adjusts his invisible arrows. And then there are times when it forms an urn. The human body, is above all the mirror of the soul and that is where its greatest beauty comes from."

Naghahalakhakan sa gitna ng dilim sa gubat kung saan napadpad ang mga magigiting na mga kalalakihan na galing Davao, umiinom ng mamahaling alak tulad ng Johnnie Walker pati Jack Daniels, upang ipagdiwang ang kabayanihang ipinamalas ng kanilang kapatid na si Janno at nailigtas nito ang isang grupo ng mga takas sa mapang-aping kamay ng mga Sibika. Tumayo ang isang miyembro na si Efren sa kanyang kinatatayuan at itinaas ang kamay na may hawak na tagay ng alak. ‘Hindi ko lubos maisip na magsisimula na ang panibagong yugto ng ating paghihiganti. Lahat ng ating sinimulan mula nung unang araw ay hindi ko inakalang magkakaroon ng matinding impluwensiya sa ating samahan at sa ating kapwa. Ngayon, inialay ko ang ating mumunting tagumpay para sa milyun-milyon pang mga tagumpay na naghihintay sa ating kinabukasan!’ Lubos na tuwa ang kanyang naramdaman sa mga oras na iyon habang sabay-sabay na nilaklak ng kanyang mga kasamahan ang kanilang mga tagay nang tinulak niya ang kanya sa sariling lalamun...

I tried to downplay the whole tardy excuse today with a mentor of mine that wanted to meet up with me. This whole thing about surprise calls are hardly surprising anymore. Something has to happen with me eventually, and this is one of them. It was half past six when I left my place after a lazy afternoon. Every little thing connected to this week has been about laziness, up to the point of tidying, eating, and even sleeping.  I twisted my brain a bit through overthinking, trapped in a labyrinth of self-realisation. That part of me is prematurely evident through my actions. It shames me to watch myself in reflections and still images. All those captivated horrors are seen as evidences of disgust. All it does is reinforce my dissatisfaction. That whenever I stare long at my hands all I wanted to see are rough patches and signs of hardwork. It's not even smooth and yet I despise it down to its carpal bones. Then I realise something unusual, something that has been plaguing m...