Lazy from C-Z

Tell me what I should do. I don't want to wake up every single time without a thing to do and nowhere to go. My thoughts wander and it seems there is no more turning back. I'm a horrible person. There is no one more cowardly than I am. Your plan wouldn't work. Then tell me what I should do. I don't want to be speaking to this machine rather than someone else. This trip was supposed to be a mission, not a lazy party. Sometimes luck inspires a good person to turn bad. It is until someone suffers that we find ourselves crying over spilled shit. How long have I been staying here in Seomyeon? How long has it been since then? Long enough. I need to restart my quest, but it's very cold outside and my money is running out quickly. No one will help you except Austria. I don't know how to repay Austria, for the kindness and support. It's the end of the line. Take a chillstep and rest for now, young gun. Let's fight a good fight when you wake up. ...

"The contingency is a remote one, sir." In any circumstances, I should get my mission in action. The weather and conditions denounce my concentration. Seomyeon is a distraction; so to are my desires; failure methods and weather underpinnings. There she is; somewhere only she knows. I would love to catch forty winks and four proper. Tickle my ankles and eavesdrop over the mobile phone. Stick to it, 니또참. Put your mind into it.

Cannot escape vendetta. Back to square one. There's no news of anything at all and I'm wasting so much time and effort over nothing. Frustrations are bound to develop and cold weather never aids anyone in this dire quest, terrible anguish and futility nonewithstanding. The people are somewhere far beyond the outskirts of Busan wanting to take part of an orgy of fulfilment and money is the great denominator. Everyone in this country revolves around consumerism and advertisement. Look beyond left and you're back again in center. Just like me. Left turn towards the dark side. Revolve and it's still always dark beyond the joy and smiles of companionship.

Backpacking is an excuse to withstand the desire of human interaction and avoid overbearing apathy. Sometimes it feels very sad to realise that others are lonelier than thou without even having to ask. It's just a spontaneous flame kindling itself from within the inner spirit of this and that. Old souls wandering in search for a bite, hiding beneath a veil of independence and spontaneity, hopping from coast to coast and learning from the fetishistic desires of life's masochistic tendencies, laughing and drinking on their way to more shallow and mindless experiences to fill the gaps missing.   Whatever it is I'm searching for, it can only be answered with love. Yes or no. Yes and no.

Should have done this sooner. There are very little details left to recall by now. So many words to say, so little recollection. She's gone, and now my watch has began. Two more months or vagrancy; barely living, barely breathing.   There is fun in even the smallest things, I found, but even then cannot fill the hole left behind by the loss of my first true love. Malice has overcome me; the everlasting demand for justice; equal measures. Now I surround myself with new people, new experiences, but still feeling like a sushi on a stick. How do I begin to rekindle my passion now? Where do I find that which is my destiny and that thing that I truly came here for? Mioseon is gone. She disappeared. Into an abyss of neverending hide-and-seek. I do not want to seem like a creep; my dignity suffers tenfold everytime the thought frolicks by.   It is the end of me. What if time with Mioseon Park was the happiest day of my life and all I look forward to now is sic...